So I know I just announced that I'm pregnant but it looks like this is going to be miscarriage #2 for the Ostler's. Disappointed doesn't begin to describe how I feel right now. This pregnancy was such a lifesaver for me. It was what was helping me get over my last miscarriage. It was giving me something to look forward to and in all honestly I was super excited. Now it has just left me wondering what I'm doing wrong. I thought after having 5 healthy kids I had this whole having babies thing down. What am I missing? Is it because I'm fat? Do I need to become a perfect mom to the kids I already have before I'll be given anymore? Do I need to have the eight passenger car actually purchased before I get pregnant with #6? Are my hormones out of whack? Is my body done having kids? (It seems a little early for menopause)
I feel really sad and frustrated knowing there are more spirits that need to come to our family but not knowing how I'm ever going to get them here. I know this happens to everyone and that if I keep trying it will eventually work out. But I still have the emotions now. I still want the children now. I still don't like going through this and I defiantly want off this emotional roller coaster.
I guess the Lord knows that the timing isn't right for this to happen quite yet. That is my only saving thought. God is in control. I just need to take a deep breath and keep putting my life and health together so that when the time is right in God's eyes....I will be ready and able for the children that are supposed to be mine.
9 comments:
I'm so sorry.
I am SOOOO sorry to hear that. PLEASE let me know if there is ANYthing that I can do for you guys. I love you!
okay, lets get something straight...You are SUPER MOM. HOLY cow, the things you do, with 5 kids...crazy.
I know the feeling. In Gods time. :)
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is never easy. You are an AMAZING mom! I look up to you so much.
Stacey, I'm so sorry that this had to happen again. (By the way, it's Brittany. I was with Greg and Megan when you wanted them to check out your blog. I'm a big blogger too!) You have the most wonderful family! And if you have more little ones waiting to come and join the awesome 5 kids you have now, that will get here!! I hope things work out soon!
I'm really sorry, Stace. I know how much you want another baby... as far as the not being a good enough mom? You are one of the best moms I know, so that can't be it. Maybe it happened so you could be sad with me, and it had nothing to do with you. If thats the case, its all my fault... :) And the next time around, its all you, and it will all go great! I'm so sorry. We luv u guyz!
Hey, wanna go see Dr. Kris with me? Maybe he could tell you something... ??? a thought...
I'm so sorry. I know how bad you wanted this little one. Heavenly Father knows what he is doing.Don't blame yourself(I know .. . easier said than done). You are an awesome mom. One I really look up to. Let me know if I can do anything. Even if its just to go get a pedicure or something!
Stacey, I am soooo sorry about your miscarriages. I was thinking about it a few nights ago and I think I know why you have been having miscarriages. Grandma Ostler is lecturing your kids up there and 9 months is just not long enough for her to lecture them! : )
Well, I've only had one miscarriage and it really screws you up bad! I was a wreck. I thought maybe it happened because I got so mad at Jimmy and yelled at him and even thought I didn't love him. Maybe the little baby didn't want me as a mommy. I think I cried for 3 days. I watched a lot of tv. I think it's just because something developed wrong and the body had to get rid of it. I don't know if there's a spirit there. It would depend on a lot of things that I don't know about. But I know it's totally up to him. And he doesn't look at it as they'll be 3 or 4 years apart. He'll get your kids to you. I wanted to have 12 kids. And it took three years for Lorien to come and 3 1/2 years for Vanessa to come. I'm totally jelous of you and Chelsae and Linda. I would love to have kids close together. But my body doesn't work, or Heavenly Father must know more than I do! Anyway, don't let this get you down. Stress is the worst thing for being or getting pregnant. Just have fun with your family and Dan! Love you all!
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