Week #4:Looks like I'll be keeping my "Muffin Top" after all

This is the long version... (scroll to the very bottom for the short story)

So this week hasn't been going well. I have been sick most of the week and had a really hard time working out without feeling like I was going to faint or throw-up. This morning when I weighed in I had actually gained 1.4 lbs. Ugh. After the weigh in I didn't stay to work out with the ladies I just came home and went back to bed while Hudson was at preschool.

While I lay in bed the thought came to me... Maybe I put on weight this week because it's about time to start my period... when was my last period anyway... Wait a minute, am I late? I knew it couldn't possibly mean I was pregnant because after my 3rd miscarriage in October I decided to take a break from baby making. I stopped seeing doctors, went off all medications for infertility, no more IUI's, no more tracking periods, and no more timed intercourse. I just wanted to enjoy the holidays with my family and not be working my way through another disappointing loss. So absolutely NO way I could be pregnant.

But... I did have an extra pregnancy test in the bathroom cupboard and it wouldn't hurt to take one just to be sure. I definitely wouldn't be telling anyone that the thought actually crossed my mind and that I secretly had my hopes up. I would just take the test really quick, see that it was negative, and throw it away. No harm done.

Weird thing was... after peeing on the stick... it had a big + sign on it. SAY WHAT?????

I seriously couldn't believe my eyes. How could this just happen on it's own? I definitely had mixed emotions. I was surprised that this could even happen with no outside help, I mean, we had been making babies the "romantic way" in a doctors office for so long, did we actually just do this the old fashioned way? I also felt nervous and NOT excited and found myself saying in my head, "don't get your hopes up, this may not even work." Such a weird spot to be in.

I had a positive pregnancy test though and I needed to move forward to see what the outcome would be. I called my doctor right away and his response was to do bloodwork every other day for a few weeks to see if this would even be a viable pregnancy. It was pretty much like hearing lets see if we have a real live baby to work with, then I'll take time out to see you. That feels pretty bad to hear... No... Congratulations! No... here's your due date, let me schedule an appointment for you to come in. Don't get me wrong I actually really love my doctor and the office I have been going to for the last 13 years but I want help now. I want someone to keep this baby alive not to wait and see if it will stay alive. I need help!

I started thinking...

In December I felt prompted to go to a new doctor for another medical condition that was going on. Although this doctor was not an OBGYN we were randomly talking about some of the pregnancies I wasn't able to keep and she urgently encourage me to go see a different doctor, someone she knows, who specializes in this sort of thing. I was hesitant to go then because I really did love my doctor and had be going there so long but at the same time, today, right now, at this moment I am feeling prompted and maybe a little desperate to take her advice. So I got his number and made the call, he was able to get me in immediately and is very confident that he can get me a real live baby!

I've had bloodwork done and my progesterone is too low to hold this pregnancy so he wants to do progesterone shots for at least 12 weeks. Until my body starts producing it and takes over. That will mean coming to his office every other day to get a shot in my rear end. Yay! (Totally worth it though) He will also be doing weekly ultrasounds and bloodwork and has asked me to take a baby aspirin everyday for the first 3 months to help prevent blood clots from stopping the flow of blood to the baby and placenta. So he's doing something.

Right now I'm 7 weeks pregnant!

I am still nervous about the outcome of this pregnancy but I also feel very peaceful about it. I have always felt that there were more children that needed to come to our family. After the last few years I wondered how I was ever going to get them here. But now I really feel Heavenly Fathers hand in every part of this pregnancy. I feel blessed. I feel loved. I feel like I'm part of a miracle. I feel inspired. I feel watched out for and taken care of. I feel like this is right and will actually happen.